A regular consultant
$400/ hour
- Spares your feelings
- Guesses what you want to hear
- Bills as many unnecessary hours as possible
- Makes you feel good. Solves nothing.
Warning Contains the truth. And profanity.
Want to be lied to? Hire a regular consultant. Want the truth? Hire an asshole.
Sick and tired of paying people $400 an hour to spare your feelings? Aaron Clarey won’t kiss your ass or guess what you want to hear. He’ll tell you what he thinks, he won’t give a shit if it pisses you off, and yes, he’s going to charge you for it.
Most bills land around $40 for an e-mail. **Check your spam folder.**
Where the truth gets published
The math on getting lied to
40 hours of lies
or 15 minutes of truth.
Asshole Consulting
~$40most e-mail bills
- Tells you the cold, blunt truth
- Bills $200 an hour, but most problems take a 20-minute e-mail
- Around $45 for a video answer
- You get the price before you pay a cent
“Thankfully, I’m an asshole. I don’t care about your feelings.” — Aaron Clarey
Pick your problem
Six things people
pay to get yelled at about.
These are the main topics. But if there’s money involved, he’ll talk about your cat if you want.
01 / Education
Don’t be an idiot.
You’re being asked to blow $75,000 and four years of your life on a degree. Don’t take the word of a “guidance counselor” who never worked in the real world. Compare roughly $50 to consult with the $75,000 you’re about to drop.
Read the full rant on Education02 / Career
Most jobs suck.
Can’t find a job, hate the one you’ve got, or the one you took turned out nothing like promised? Get the skinny on how the labor market really works, not the HR ditz version.
Read the full rant on Career03 / Courting / Dating
Welcome to hell, son.
A blunt and honest assessment of your physique, attitude, charm and strategy, plus a thing or two about dating in the modern age. Your sanity will thank you.
Read the full rant on Courting / Dating04 / Finance / Economics
Yes, it’s going to hell in a handbasket.
Worried about where to invest, where to live and what to do? Get perspective on the country and the future so you can prepare for it. Opinion, not investment recommendations.
Read the full rant on Finance / Economics05 / Business Consulting
Ensure yours IS successful.
Fifteen years in banking sifting through thousands of tax returns and financial statements. He knows exactly which mistakes doom a business, from the midlife-crisis sports bar to the real estate Ponzi scheme.
Read the full rant on Business Consulting06 / Ghost Writing
You’re not going to write that book.
Pay him to write it. Fee depends on length, scope and detail, payable UP FRONT. No profit share. DO NOT BOTHER WITHOUT AN OUTLINE.
Read the full rant on Ghost Writing07 / Anything else
Got a problem that isn’t on the list?
Send it anyway. Clearly. Succinctly. You’ll get a price before anything happens.
The Bullshit Translator
What they told you.
What it actually means.
Pick a line you’ve been fed. Get the translation, in Aaron’s own words.
Translated The $400-an-hour consultant
“Let’s book a few more discovery sessions and circle back.”
15 minutes of truth is infinitely more valuable than 40 hours of lies.
Source: Aaron Clarey, About page
Get your own translationHow it works
How to hire an asshole.
Five steps. Read them. All of them. Then quit stalling.
CHECK YOUR SPAM FOLDER. With “asshole” in the return address, the reply might land there. So… umm… you know… check it.
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Step 1
Send an e-mail.
Explain your problem and question clearly and succinctly, with enough information so it can be resolved. BE SUCCINCT. You WILL be charged if you blather on with your life story.
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Step 2
Get diagnosed.
Aaron “diagnoses” the problem and e-mails you an estimate of what it costs to answer your question or solve your problem.
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Step 3
Pay through PayPal.
Agree with the price? Pay the quoted amount. No PayPal account needed, just a card. Use the same e-mail as your request, or put it in the PayPal note.
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Step 4
Get the answer.
Most clients pick a video response (posted on the YouTube channel). Prefer private? Ask for an e-mail response.
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Step 5
Follow up if needed.
Depending on the complexity of the problem, there may be some follow-up questions. Then you’re done.
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Or skip the e-mail
Talk it through 1-on-1.
Phone or Skype, $300 per hour with a $300 minimum. Solved in 15 minutes? You go. Nobody stays on for another 45.
Book the 1-on-1 call
Who’s going to yell at you
“Hello, I’m Aaron Clarey and I’m an asshole.”
He dealt with enough incompetent corporate banking douchebags and their criminal clientele to know bullshit when he sees it. Fifteen years in banking, sifting through thousands of tax returns and financial statements, taught him exactly which stupid mistakes doom a business.
Mortgage companies, soulless universities, HR ditzes: the list is endless. He’s likely made infinitely worse mistakes than you have. You get the benefit of where he succeeded and where he spectacularly failed.
And he makes enough money doing other things that he doesn’t need to worry about offending you or losing your business. That makes the advice better than most consultants’, and cheaper.
- 15 years in banking
- Author of the books below
- The Clarey Podcast
- The Older Brother Podcast
From people who paid for it
They got told.
Then they said thanks.
Quoted word for word from client letters. Want proof? Nearly every consultation is public on YouTube.
“Aaron provided me with a very clear and custom roadmap in the hour that we spent together. It was money well spent and it was great to finally work with someone that wasn’t a scammer. Aaron is the real deal and I will be back whenever I need more asshole consulting.”
“I’m sure you get this a lot, but I’d like to thank you for all the years of misery and financial problems you have saved me in my future. Seriously, you have changed my life in ways others could not, and for that I am grateful. I wish there was more mentally stimulating people on this Earth like you. I have the best parents I could ask for and I still greatly benefited from your work, so its not just single parent kids with no dads or older brothers. When I’m a engineer or physician one day I’m going to drop 1000 in your donation box just for the fuck of it, because you were that big of an influence on my life – no joke. If I one day contributed a fraction of what you have to society I would be humbled.”
“Aaron, Thanks much man! I never really considered getting a taste before jumping in with both feet. Spot on advice, thanks so much!”
“Dear Mr. Clarey, My apologies for disturbing you, but I want to take the time to thank you for the wonderful advice you have given me. Not only have you pointed me in a great direction toward getting out of the mess I am in, but I have piece of mind and even less fear than when I e-mailed you for the consulting to begin with.”
“I just want to email a quick thank you for all the videos you put up on your youtube channel. Honestly, I’ve been watching more and more of them, and they’ve really been helping me stand up for *myself* to people in my life, especially women and getting shit on in my workplace. You’re making a difference out there to some of us without those *really* masculine figures helping our lives, Aaron, and we really appreciate it.”
“Aaron clarey thank you for the advice you give out you are like the big brother I wanted to have but I don’t have brothers.”
The cheaper option
Too cheap to hire him?
Buy the book.
A lot of client problems can be solved by one of these. They’re detailed and thorough, and they cost less than a consult.
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The Menu Life Without the Opposite Sex -
The Book of Numbers -
How Not to Become a Millennial -
Bachelor Pad Economics -
The Black Man’s Guide Out of Poverty -
Worthless The Young Person’s Indispensable Guide to Choosing the Right Major -
Reconnaissance Man -
Enjoy the Decline Accepting and Living with the Death of the United States -
Curse of the High IQ -
Captain Capitalism -
Behind the Housing Crash Confessions from an Insider -
Poor Richard’s Retirement Retirement for Everyday Americans
Don’t take our word for it
Watch him do it.
Nearly all the consultations are public. Start with “The Greatest Asshole Consulting Story Ever Told.” Then pick a podcast: The Clarey Podcast or The Older Brother Podcast, where he curses, swears and occasionally drops some pearls of wisdom.
The YouTube channel
A Second Look
Already paid somebody to blow smoke up your ass?
The guidance counselor. The career coach. The buddy with the sports bar idea. Send what they told you and get a second opinion that doesn’t care about your feelings, before you drop the $75,000 or sign anything.
Send it for a Second Look
Sometimes all you need is another person’s opinion. A blunt one.
Read this before you e-mail
Questions.
Answered bluntly.
Still confused? Make it CLEAR what your request is, and send it.
How much does Asshole Consulting cost?
Aaron officially bills at $200 per hour, but most problems are solved within a 20-minute e-mail or so. Most final bills come in around $40 for an e-mail and $45 for a video. You get an estimate by e-mail before you pay anything. One-on-one calls are $300 per hour with a $300 minimum.
How do I hire you?
Send an e-mail through the contact form that explains your problem clearly and succinctly. You get a diagnosis and a price estimate by e-mail. If you agree, pay the quoted amount through PayPal and your question gets answered.
Why haven’t you answered my e-mail?
Every e-mail gets a reply. Check your spam folder, because there’s an “asshole” in the return address. If you hear nothing within 5 days, use the backup e-mail listed on the contact page, and only then.
Will my consultation end up on YouTube?
The majority of clients opt for video responses, which are posted on the YouTube channel. If you want it private, ask for an e-mail response instead.
Is this financial, legal or psychological advice?
No. Aaron cannot charge for specific investment recommendations, legal advice or official psychological advice. He can give his opinion for free and has access to lawyers, financial advisors and therapists if you need one. Services are opinion only and come with a waiver.
Do you do phone or Skype calls?
Yes. One-on-one consultations run by phone or Skype for $300 per hour with a $300 minimum. If the problem is solved in 15 minutes, the call ends. Nobody sits there for another 45 wasting each other’s time.
Can you ghost-write my book?
Yes, for a fee based on length, scope and detail, paid up front. No profit share. Do not get in touch unless you already have an outline.
Done reading?
Good. Now send the e-mail.
E-mail me your problemLast chance to stay comfortable
Quit paying people to lie to you.
Send the e-mail and get a price. Or book the call and get it fixed in one sitting.